Good Morning!
I have finally made it to Delaware! Since my trip was a bit of a “cluster”, I thought I would share with you, my dear readers, what NOT to do on a road trip with your teen! You may want to read this twice to make sure you never forget this advice.
Number 5:
Do not try to explain Quantico to your 14 year old. Even if you think you know what you are talking about, you really don’t. Seeing Silence of the Lambs does not make you an expert on the in’s and out’s of Quantico. Believe me – once your teen hears the words “Serial Killer” they will ask a whole lot of questions.
Number 4:
Under no circumstances should you try to take a picture of the Washington Monument while going 75 miles per hour. No one needs to see the Monument that badly.
Number 3:
Do NOT tell your teen that you do not have enough money for the next toll so you will offer to show your boobs instead. They will freak out and screech like a banshee! Your ears will thank you.
Number 2:
No one needs to see a video of you singing “The Circle Of Life” from the Lion King at the top of your lungs in your car. Enough said.
And the Number 1 thing you should never do on a road trip is ….
Insist that you know more than your GPS!
I spent an entire hour going in circles around Washington D.C. because I was sure that Ella May (my GPS’s name) was trying to trick me. At one time Ella actually had my car driving down the Potomac River. If that’s what Ella wants, who am I to argue? Once I “stayed right“, I finally got back on the correct route. Geesh – so bitchy!
I sure hope you learn from my mistakes and your next road trip is a happy and safe one!
Hope your life is more Lion King heaven than $4.00 toll havoc!
Missi
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Omg girl, you have me cracking up! Thanks for the laughs;a great way to start the day. I bet the kids make sure you have plenty of toll money for the way home, ha! Xoxo
Too funny! Thanks for cracking me up this morning! My mom calls our GPS the gremlin (think it was a Freudian slip instead of calling it a Garmin) when she uses it…you could adopt that name for yours if you wish! lol!
You are so welcome! I have a friend who calls her Garmin, “Carmen Garmin Electra” – cracks me up!
This is so cute! You had me laughing with this one. Sounds like you are having a great road trip.
Thanks so much! I am a little crazy … we had fun but it was interesting – for sure! Hope you visit again!
#3…Bahahahaha!! Definitely going to say this when I have teens trapped in a car with me
Happy to give inappropriate ideas to all parents of teens! Hee!
Hi Missi,
Thanks so much for the laughs! Very funny and I know it’s funny ’cause it’s true!!! I found your site through Wow me Wednesday party…I clicked on your button because of the name–5 things not to do on a roadtrip. My daughter is going to Florida from Arkansas in a few weeks with a 5 year old in the car. I have been looking for tips for them…your *tips* are more geared for the older set, but I am so glad I clicked over…totally cracking up :0. So I became your newest follower…via email, twitter and pinterest( I love copper and doors,too,lol).
Thanks again, Di
Thank you for such a great comment!! I am so thrilled to have you as a new follower! Hope your daughter’s roadvtrip goes well!!
Omg, DC is the worst! I wouldn’t be surprised if your GPS girl was wrong since some roads change directions at different times of day and since there is always construction mucking things up. It’s really not uncommon for one wrong turn to become an hour long saga. And I’m local! So don’t beat yourself up about it…Thanks for the laughs!
I know you live there – but OMG I was losing my mind! I went around in circles for over an hour. My daughter and I just started laughing after a while. Tons of construction – which I think was the problem. When I saw my car in the Potomac on my GPS, I knew I was really lost!
Snorting pretty loudly while I read, the flashing one was priceless…. and I have tried to out wit my GPS too and have also failed.
Stopping by from SITS. have a great day
Seems like my GPS is always saying, “Make a U-turn as soon as possible.” Ella May is way too sweet a name for such an evil device! Funny, memorable post; have a great SITS day!
Hilarious! Love it. Happy SITS day!!
Ha, ha, ha! I loved the GPS one! That is hilarious! Great post! Happy SITS day!
haha great tips
If it makes you feel better, I live near DC and still spend up to an hour driving around it sometimes!
happy SITS day!
LOL! I love number four! I have a couple of teenagers myself and they get mad at me because I am always singing the wrong words to songs! Love the post & Happy SITS Day to you!
Good to know. So what if the toll booth attendant was a woman? Do you think your boobs still would have gotten you by
. I’m totally bookmarking you, I definitely want to read more. I’m the mom of 4, but only one is a teen so far and thankfully I have spread them out enough that I won’t have 4 teens in my house at once, but in a few years when I do have 2 teens I’m going to need to reference back to this and remind myself that no matter what at least I don’t have 4 teens at once, lol.
Happy SITS day.
Haha, oh my. This was a great read to start of my day with my morning coffee. Happy Sits Day to you!!!
Happy SITS Day. GPS can be wrong. We are offered updates every year for $200. We’ve never got them.
Happy sits day! I read that you have like 4 kids within 3.5 years. Did I read that right? Hats off to ya. I’m a mom of one and sometimes I feel like I’m a mom of ten. lol Love the look of your blog. Number three is so funny!
You read that right Anchor Mama! 4 kids in 3 1/2 years … the toddler years were nuts! I love the teen years, but I have to admit there are so many emotions running around this house, you never know what you are going to get.
Haha. I will take note of these things. My GPS tends to take me to “roads” that aren’t actually roads…not hard to do in certain parts of Maine!
Happy SITS Day!
Hi Jennifer – thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I have never been to Maine, but it is on my bucket list. Dying for a Maine lobster roll!
{Melinda} Great way to start my Friday. Very funny. Especially loved the toll booth.
I don’t try to intentionally embarrass my teen often, but sometimes it is a great way to motivate them to do something they don’t want to do. 
We moms of teens have to be creative — and goodness knows, we need a good laugh!
Happy SITS Day!
I fully believe in humiliation for motivation with teens. All you have to do is say the word “vagina” in front of their friends and they will do what ever you ask them to!
Thanks for the great comment!
Hahah I love number 3. Definitely good advice!
Oh man! The screeching noise when I threatened to flash the guy would be SO WORTH IT for the knowledge that I had finally managed to scar them for life!!! Happy SITS day!!
I completely agree – the reaction to my boobs would be worth any amount of toll money! Thanks for the fun comment! Hope you will stop by again. If you liked this post – you will really like 19 ways to stay married 19 years. Inappropriate is what I do best.
These are awesome especially #1. I think that I might need to forward this to my husband…Happy SITS Day!
Hey Christine! Thanks for stopping by for my SITS Day. It was awesome! I hope you stop by again. If you liked this post, you will love 19 ways to stay married 19 years… check it out!
Hee hee hee!!! Thanks for the giggle today!!
Cool blog!
No problem – I love to make people laugh – especially myself. I am so glad you stopped by and like my blog! Hope to see you again!
I just got 1 teen out of the house & have 3 more who aren’t even teens yet (though the oldest is 12). I feel overwhelmed for you! Happy SITS day~
Life is crazy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything! I’ll take 4 teens over 4 toddlers any day of the week.
“No one needs to see a video of you singing “The Circle Of Life” from the Lion King at the top of your lungs in your car. Enough said.”
WRONG. We all need to see this!
Yeah – that’s never gonna happen. It was beyond pitiful! It is amazing what you think you sound like versus what you really do sound like. I was a bit delusional! HA!
Funny post! Thanks for the laugh. Happy SITS Day!
Thanks Teresa! Glad you stopped by!
Visiting from SITs, so happy SITS day!
Oh yes, D.C is so much fun and so is navigating around it. The one time I used Mapquest to try and go around D.C we ended up going through D.C and during Ronald Regan’s funeral procession no less! We sat in the same spot in a moving van for three hours with two dogs, a bird, two humans and myself who was a teenager at the time. I kept insisting we stay the night (I wanted to see D.C) but my family pressed forward. They were not happy about the cost of the tolls either!
Hey Sara! Thanks for leaving a great comment! I was laughing at your DC story – what a great memory! Hope you stop by again!
Thanks for the laugh today! D.C. would drive me crazy, although I would love to visit again. I only have one teenager (so far), but your insights make me smile. Thanks again for great blog!
Thanks so much Joan for the nice comment! D.C. is a nightmare to try to navigate. I don’t know how people do it everyday.
Too funny! Teenagers are so funny and they truly think they know it all! Happy SITS Day!
Isn’t that the truth! Thanks for visiting me on my SITS Day! Hope to see you again!
So true! Also, Happy SITS Day!
Thanks so much for visiting on my SITS Day! I really appreciate it!
haha! #3 is hilarious. i hope you were able to scrounge up the change for the toll…
Showing your boobs instead of toll money = HILARIOUS!!!
Stopping by from SITS, thanks for the chuckles
My saggy boobs = HILARIOUS! I don’t think they would be worth a third of the toll money, but you never know!